It’s nearing the top of the hour, minutes before my client, Diane, rings in for a phone consultation. Suddenly, I get a strong hunch that moves me to do a quick web search on Paula Deen. Yes, that warm but sassy, silver haired, southern comfort, mother of a chef.
Like Ms. Deen, my client Diane, is sassy, outgoing, friendly and also a divorced mom with two children. She has hosted a few of my private parties, so I’ve gotten to know her well. She has this gift to cook amazing food and make the people around her feel special.
Paula’s biography pops up on my screen and the word agoraphobic jumps out at me. Very interesting. I think I’m onto something here because Diane has the biggest hurdle yet to conquer.
“And it is to move out of that darn house that she and her ex-husband live!” a man leaning over my shoulder shouts.
The spirit startled me. It’s Diane’s dad, Thomas. He said that I must tell his daughter, Diane, that she could have her dream restaurant once she moved out of the house.
“That isn’t an easy message to pass on to Diane. I don’t think she’s ready.” I thought.
But, Thomas had a different idea and insisted I share his message. He said that I should start by telling Diane that the last time he and I spoke was when his son, Roger, a military officer, and Diane’s brother, had a meeting to connect. We failed miserably since Roger didn’t believe. I had conveniently forgotten this memory, until now. Skeptics simply waste my time. In fact, I recalled warning Diane that she not schedule this meeting between father and son, because the end result wasn’t what she desired; Her brother’s belief that making a connection to dad was real.
I put my phone’s earpiece on when Diane called. I told her Dad stood by and was disappointed in our effort to make, Roger, her brother, a believer.
“You’re right,” she said, “Roger called me after your meeting to tell me he wasn’t convinced.”
“That’s cool, not everyone is going to believe.” I said, “But your dad wanted me to remind you of the incident as validation that he was here in spirit.”
“Can you ask him if I can believe that the spare dimes I found were from him?”
Thomas stood there with a smug look on his face and shrugged. He made me laugh, because I think he was just as confused as I was by her question.
“I don’t think we can ask him if you believe, Diane, only you can ask yourself if you believe the dimes are from your father.”
“Oh, yes,” she exclaimed, “I do.”
“Then why do you beg the question from your father that you believe?”
“Just to see….” She trailed off.
I got a feeling that she needed to hear if she could still believe in her dad’s presence, but let it go when Thomas whispered that I bring up the restaurant now.
“Okay,” I said, leaning back into my chair. “Your dad says we need to discuss the restaurant….”
“Yes!” Diane interrupted, “I had two offers to buy into my own restaurant! Yet, I don’t seem to make the leap. I’m not sure what’s holding me back?”
“Part of it is timing,” I said. Then I am flashed an image of a restaurant. “Was one of those offers from Maggie’s?”
“Yes, it was, but he’s asking way too much. I just don’t think Brett believes in me anyway.”
“I’m sorry…who is Brett?”
“The owner of Maggie’s, where I work.”
“Interesting,” I said, “I think we have a theme. Why is it so important he, Brett, believe in you for you to own a restaurant?”
“I practically run the place and I don’t feel I get the deserved credit.”
“And I don’t think you’ll ever have it Diane,” I adjusted in my seat, “Especially if you keep seeking his approval to run your own restaurant. He isn’t the person to give you permission….you are!”
Her silence gave me the impression that she reflected on what I said. Then I see Diane’s dad point to a neon sign flashing the words Diane’s Diner.
“It doesn’t much matter what Brett thinks anyway…it’s a done deal.”
“What do you mean done?”
“I see it,” I said matter of fact, “Diane’s Diner, your restaurant’s sign.”
“Really?!
“Yes, which leads me to my next point, Paula Deen.”
“Who?”
“Paula Deen is a famous chef on TV. She was a divorcee, too, with 2 kids who founded a restaurant. Sound familiar? According to her bio here on my laptop,” I leaned in to get a closer look, “She was agoraphobic.”
“What’s that?”
“Someone who has trouble leaving their home. You are not by any means a hermit, just reluctant to leave. Like Ms. Deen, I believe it has something to do with you holding back from making important life decisions. Speaking of which, how is your ex?
While Diane talked, I pasted and copied Dean’s link into a new email. Then I typed read me in the subject header, included her email address and pressed send.
“John’s there, of course, but I just can’t forgive him for the affair.”
“I understand that the kids are an important part of that equation Diane, so by no means do I judge you on your decision to live with your ex-husband, but I think you’ll find yourself with more choices when your youngest leaves for school.” A girl in a graduation cap and gown, holding a diploma, pops up on my radar. “Isn’t she real close to graduation?”
“Yes. Next year.”
“Very good. Another confirmation from grandpa, your dad, here.”
“You’ve pretty much freed me to let my kids go, Laura.”
“How so?” I asked.
“You told me to put them in a white light, like angels wrapping their wings around them so that they are protected, to bring ease of mind. It totally worked.”
I nodded my head in agreement as a parent to another parent could only understand.
“Sure it does,” I replied, “You have to believe, in your own heart, to know it’s true.”
When I closed our conversation, Thomas, wasn’t happy with me for not communicating what he asked. In fact, he said I was beating around the bush and asked me to tell Diane to move out again. Then he pushed forward all these containers filled with pennies. I pretended not to hear him and went about my business, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept smiling and pushing those containers towards me at yoga class, as I worked, my trip to the bank, while I made dinner and before I fell asleep at night. He drove me nuts.
“Okay! Okay! I’ll send it.”
I sprang from my bed to write the following email.
Diane; I'd like to add, that when you move out on your own...things will pop. Be sure to read Paula's story. PS Your dad keeps pushing containers filled with pennies towards you. Does that make any sense to you?
When I sent the email, Thomas was finally gone from my field. It made sense to me, but I was hoping she would see it was her dad’s way of saying she save her pennies and or all that money she keeps finding from him! This is how she replied.
Thanks for sharing. No, the pennies in containers don’t ring a bell. Maybe my brother or sis will understand? I’ll ask. My dad was always so cute with the change in his pockets, giving everything away except for the pennies cause he would say you would need a lot of those to buy something, in his cute little adorable voice and his smile. By the way, I got approached, yesterday, about the same restaurant! I am willing to help them out, but didn’t want to give away too many of my ideas. Diane
the message, but after seeing she is holding onto her dream, she’s well on her way to believing in Diane.
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